Contemplative Prayer – we see it now referred to regularly in our life at St. Matthews. Yet in my experience decades, even generations, have passed without this most ancient and simplest form of prayer being recommended or even mentioned in the ordinary life of many churches. Wonderfully, that is now changing for many of us, and the invitation into solitude – the basis for contemplative prayer – is becoming a part of our life together.
I only recently discovered this approach to prayer for my own life. I had such a hard time getting hold of what contemplative prayer really is. The definitions don’t really speak to me, yet there is something there that was drawing me in ways that I’ve never known. So, I’ll try to tell you what it’s like. It’s as if I’ve been living in this great old house for a long time (I guess it represents my life). It’s familiar and comfortable – hardly perfect, but I’m at home here. There are many things about it that I love. It seems a little crowded at times and there are changes I probably need to work on, but who has time – or energy.
Then, one day, along one wall, maybe because of the way the light reflects, I seem to see the shadow of an old opening. Upon further examination it looks like maybe there was once a large door or a passageway that has been sealed up. With great curiosity I start to explore and I discover an arched passage that leads into a space vastly larger than my whole house. To my astonishment in the dim light I can glimpse beautifully designed rooms and galleries, richly furnished. There is so much more than I can take in at first, and I know I need to take the time to explore this new space, to find out its dimensions and what is here. It’s been here a long time and I never knew it. Right away I realized, however, that this new space doesn’t replace my familiar dwelling, but simply includes it, placing it in an entirely new context. In fact, my dwelling is now one whole space and all of it more precious.
In talking recently with a friend who is a little further along the way in contemplative prayer, I ask what would be the key to moving into this form of prayer. He responded that actually, in his experience there are two keys: silence and perseverance.
Silence is the first key, the essential condition for contemplative prayer. This form of prayer, especially as expressed in Centering Prayer, is not itself difficult. (Contact me for good references on the basis for this prayer form.) Finding and protecting the necessary silence (solitude) can be the truly difficult part for most of us. We live contemporary patterns of life dictated by our commitments and our desires. The priorities are often hard set.
Silence. Solitude. Where in the world do I even begin to find the time? Many of us may feel defeated up front by this. Yet would you spend twenty minutes two times a day attached to a dialysis machine to save your life? Finding silence, preserving and protecting silence is the first and greatest challenge, but it is only in silence that we can let the din of our interior chaos become still. It is only in silence that we can recover our equilibrium enough to turn quietly toward God, who is there all along.
Centering Prayer is simplicity itself, compared to many spiritual disciplines. Thomas Keating says it is like turning loose of a ball, allowing it naturally to bounce down stairs - it is drawn by the very nature of the ball and of gravity. Similarly, he says that we are naturally drawn into prayer, into relationship with God. We are designed for it and flow into it easily, when not hindered by our barriers. Ah, here is the other key factor – the need for perseverance – to just keep going and going and going . . .
Some find a fascinating contradiction here: if it is so easy, why can it sometimes be so difficult? There is something deep within us that resists change, that recognizes when we begin to get serious about anything that would shape and transform us. It’s one thing to dabble in an occasional retreat or quiet day, but that usually passes without significant impact (except the haunting hunger for more). But when it looks like we are getting really serious on a daily basis and are studying and honoring the simple discipline of Centering Prayer, then the Red Alert goes up and the real resistance may appear.
So don’t be surprised, or taken off guard. Just smile and say to yourself, "Ah, there you are, my old adversary. Right on time. . . You are right. This is not just another of those do-it-yourself improvement projects – just another diet or effort to exercise regularly, or other of those self-help projects that you know I soon get tired of and get discouraged and quit. No, I’m in this for the long haul. Come on along. It will change you forever. And it will only be uncomfortable for a little while. But you may as well, because this is where I’m going and I am not turning back."
In the months ahead, I will be doing a series of articles on Contemplative Prayer, and on things that may help us embrace it more fully as part of our life in prayer. I am working on finding and protecting silence and on persevering, and I am moving into my own expanding spiritual dwelling through Centering Prayer.
Let me hear from you. I welcome your thoughts, questions, responses, ideas and experiences. You can reach me easily through the Church office. Keep alert for coming opportunities – seasonal quiet days, contemplative Eucharists, programs, and other events – to participate in strengthening contemplative prayer for us as individuals, and in our life together.
Peace
Sitting on my deck one afternoon in an attempt to be in twenty minutes of silence for Centering Prayer, I had the following experience: A neighbor started a lawn mower, followed by a blower; a freight train went by three blocks away; first a helicopter went overhead, followed by a jet; I became aware of MOPAC in the background; the trash truck made its clanking pick-up, accompanied by the beeping back-up warning; a school bus revved-up after dropping off students; the dryer timer dinged that the load was done; a car went by with heavy music blaring; another neighbor cranked up a power washer to clean out her gutters; my cell phone rang; and my wife called out to see where I had disappeared to. Solitude in the suburbs!
The complex patterns of our lives are created by many different decision made over time, reflecting the variety of our priorities. Most feel so fixed and familiar as to seem set in stone. The weekly round of work and school are most prominent for many people, accompanied by the necessary time for tasks of management and maintenance of the household, food for the family, and ah yes, sleeping. Then there are all sorts of things competing for the “free time” that remains, such as it is!
How difficult it is to structure a time of solitude into the patterns of our lives. It is sometimes difficult to even imagine any changes in our patterns. We have chosen the patterns, now they rule our lives. Yet everything we have to come to know about the spiritual life – about our very life itself – says that our spiritual health (including our emotional and physical health) requires specific regular attention – a quiet time, a time of solitude for prayer, for study, for reflection – to simply be still.
The two keys to centering prayer are solitude and presence – having a predictable protected period of silence, and then regularly continuing to be present to God’s presence in the practice of Centering Prayer. It has become clear to me that the structuring of a dependable period of solitude may be the most difficult task in embracing this practice.
I am looking for the ways people are now managing to deliberately incorporate solitude into their life patterns. Tell me how you are doing it – and the pros and cons of your strategy. Email me in care of the church office. If you will share with me, I’ll pass it on, as I know many are struggling with this dilemma. There must be some viable alternatives other than 3 AM! (However, maybe the Monastics were on to something.) I also realize that different life patterns require different strategies, so let’s share a bit on this. (If you wish, I will withhold your name when reporting.) OK? Talk to me.
Fr. Jim Williams
Well, that’s where I was, and some of you, when this was printed in the monthly Word, June 06. Here we are now, a year later. What do we know now that we can share with each other? OK. Talk to me, again.